Sometimes We Fall

Last month, we experienced a bit of an icy blast in the Northwest.  My car fishtailed as I took my son to school through the neighborhood.  When we finally parked by the sidewalk, I turned to him and explained that it was very icy outside and that we would have to be careful.  I told him we could hang on to each other, but that we would have to BE CAREFUL.  As I was explaining this, a group of older kids walked by our car.  As if on queue, two of them dropped to the ground right outside his window.  "See?" I said and I used the older kids as an example of not being careful.

I walked to his door and slipped a bit.  "See?" I said. I moved my boot over the ice to show him how slick it was.  I told him to take it slow and pay attention to his steps.  I know, I know.  I'm beginning to annoy myself with all of my motherly warnings.

The boy hops out of the car, both feet fly out from under him and he is INSTANTLY on the ground.  His rear landed with a thud and the wind was knocked out of him.  He was stunned at first and then started crying.

I think my exact word to him was, "DUDE!"  I couldn't have prepped him more if I tried - even having living bad examples - and he flopped to the ground anyway.  But, over the next couple icy days, he didn't come close to slipping again.  Even today, when it was raining outside, he paused before stepping on the sidewalk and asked me if it was slippery.

Sometimes, no amount of warning or talking or examples will make a difference.  Sometimes, our rears have to hit the ground - H-A-R-D - before we can really understand.  But after we hit, it's what we do after that makes all the difference.  We can learn.  We can adjust.  We can become more stable.  Or, we can sit on the sidewalk and cry for the rest of our lives.

Ford Failures

“One who fears failure limits his activities. Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.” -   Henry Ford

I love this quote.  For all my failures and my perceived failures, quotes like this inspire me.  I can leave my failure behind and it’s okay.

What I love more is that Henry Ford said this.  We all know about the Ford Motor Company and the giant it is today.  We all know some of his successes, but here are some other things I found out.

-         In 1915, he funded a pacifist political expedition to Norway with 170 men to seek peace during WWI, without government assistance or backing.  The war lasted 3 more years after he came back.

-         In 1918, he ran for Senator and lost in an unfair battle.  Because of the slimy practices of his opponent, the Congress now has Federal Corrupt Practices Act, of 1925.  He still didn’t ever get to serve in office.

-         He started and lost two previous auto companies before Ford Motor Company was started.  The first one was lost to bankruptcy and the second over a banking dispute.

Although the quote is two sentences long, it’s nice to know that he had a lifetime of failures – BIG ones – to back it up.  Inspirational quotes are great, but the greatest come from those with a story.

Another one I like?

“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” - Michael Jordan

Visualization in Sports

My brother is an athlete and has been since the day he was born.  Pretty much, if there was a season, he was playing the sport.  He not only played sports, he practiced sports, he watched sports and he dreamed about sports.  Today, he teaches Physical Education to junior high students and coaches high school girl’s volleyball, but his resume includes coaching all ages and skill levels in baseball, basketball and volleyball.

I say this because my brother taught me two huge lessons about life through his love of sports.

First, you never get where you are going without practice – even if you have a gift.  I remember the summer he wanted to increase his vertical jump.  I remember him DAILY, endlessly, even in the dark….he would stand outside and simply jump…..over and over and over.

Second, our minds are directly connected to our abilities.  The summer that he jumped, when he wasn’t jumping, he thought about jumping - quite literally.  I remember him laying on his waterbed, with his walkman loudly pumping the Hoosiers soundtrack.  He was visualizing himself (you guessed it) jumping higher.

I don’t remember the number of inches he added to his vertical in the matter of three months, but I do remember his excitement (that annoyed me at the time!).  I also remember him being able to jump over the heads of his peers in basketball. **Update: after verifying with my bro, he actually increased his vertical 6 inches in 6 weeks!!  How's THAT for encouragement**

As a coach, he now encourages his teams to visualize the outcome.  Visualize that perfect volleyball serve at each point: the feel of your knees slightly bent; the weight of the ball in your left hand; the sound of the ball connecting with your right; the sight of the ball making its perfect arc through the air; that ball landing in the sweet spot on the other side of the net….the crowd going wild.

Several studies have shown that muscles physically respond to visualizations as if the movements had actually been done.  Olympic athletes are often seen “running” the race with their eyes closed before their feet ever hit the track.  There is also evidence that shows using similar types of visualizations, athletes are healing faster after an injury.  Michael Phelps has been very public about his visualization techniques:

“There are times in my sleep when I literally dream my race from start to finish. Other nights … I visualize to the point that I know exactly what I want to do: dive, glide, stroke, flip, reach the wall, hit the split time to the hundredth, then swim back again for as many times as I need to finish.”

This technique can be helpful in achieving any type of goal, really.  In weight loss, picture yourself at your ideal weight.  See yourself working out effortlessly on the treadmill.  Watch yourself jogging the 5k instead of walking it.  Visualize eating and enjoying the taste of celery.

It works.   Just ask my brother.  But I don’t think he’ll lend anyone his Hoosiers soundtrack….I think he’s still listening to it.

LaLa Land

I've had quite the blog hiatus! I've been in LaLa Land, quite literally.  I've been dreaming dreams - trying to figure out which ones are ones worth pursing and which ones are just nice to think about.

I went to a writing conference this weekend, close to home.  There were 250 other writers in one place for 3 days and I was in Heaven!  I learned so much, but there is one huge take-away I'd like to share.

No matter what your dream or goal, you can't attain it if you don't start.  And to start, start with the basics.  A story can only be edited after it's written.  Weight loss can only happen after a lifestyle change - even a small one at first.

So, to finish --- we must start!

The Number One Reason Is....

While working on my list (see earlier blog post) of the reasons 'why' I want to maintain my weight loss, I found one of my biggest reasons. It’s not deep, emotional or awe-inspiring.

It’s simply because I can.

And when I succeed at maintenance and earn my Weight Watchers star for the month, I feel successful. When I feel successful, other areas of my life get more positive April energy.

So my number one reason for maintaining my weight loss is to help breed success in other areas of my life.

As a side note, I also found a new (classic) rockin’ song for my playlist from the Biggest Loser Workout - Classic Rock. Yeah, it’s Kansas, but with a little ‘m-ch m-ch’ - Carry On My Wayward Son. So, I might have danced while I was getting ready this morning while listening to it and I may be really excited to get on the elliptical with it.

Maintenance - - here I co…uh…stay!

What? Why?

The 'why' for anything we do is so important. The 'why' is what keeps us on our path. When I first started on my weight loss journey, I made a list of 10 'whats' and 'whys'. These are the things I wanted out of my journey and the reasons I decided it was worth it.

One of those reasons was my son. I wanted to be a healthy example for him and to do what I could to live longer for him. Another reason was smaller clothing sizes. It just seemed that the cutest clothes only came in small and I wanted to wear those. A few others are personal and extremely close to my heart.

What I realize now, though, as valuable as that list was at the time, I need a new list. I need to discover the 'whats' and 'whys' of maintaining a healthy weight.

Losing is one thing...it is rewarding to watch numbers fall on the scale, to buy new clothes, to listen to compliments. But maintaining...that's just...well...staying the same. It's still work. It's still watching what I eat and spending time working out. But, I'm no longer watching anything drop and I'm working to just stay in the clothes that I have.

So, I need a new list. This week, I will create that list and bring something exciting back to maintainance. Anyone have ideas on spicing it up? New cool recipe? Favorite exercise? New tunes for my workout playlist?

Time to Make the Donuts

The past few weeks have been rough donut weeks for me. I have been eating my vegetables, drinking my water, taking my vitamins, but in all honesty, I have had no ability to avoid Top Pot.

So, I decided to really get to the root of this issue. I know I was stressing about my son starting Kindergarten, with all the changes that would take place in my family. But why would I equate stress with donuts? It took reaching way back in my memory, but I found it.

I grew up in a military home. Although we didn’t move as often as other families, it still meant we didn’t live close to grandparents. So, we were a road-trip family. We road-tripped to see Grandma and Grandpa. We road-tripped every move we made. And, this is how the road trip would play out:

My parents would gather the three of us still-sleeping children at about 3 or 4 in the morning. They would buckle us in to the van or truck and head out in the darkness. When we woke up several hours later, my mom would hand us a powdered donut wrapped in a napkin.

What those times meant for me was that, even though we were moving and my whole life was about to change, my family was constant. Our houses might change, the weather would change, my friends and school would be different, but my family was always together. And for me, donuts are the reminder of the constant.

So please tell me how you do it. How do you go into a big life change gracefully? What constants do you hang on to that bring you comfort?

Bounce

There is a commercial from the early 90s – maybe late 80s – that has been brought to mind lately. As usual, I don’t quite remember the product, but it was some dog treat. There was a Bulldog walking down the sidewalk, with a Chihuahua sidekick. The Bulldog was walking straight and determined, while the little Chihuahua was jumping back and forth over the Bulldog. The Bulldog was either silent or barely speaking while the Chihuahua was chattering away as he bounced. He made the same progress forward as the Bulldog…but just bouncier.

I often feel like the Chihuahua in that commercial. In my life, I have strong, steady and confident people, while I am sometimes just overly excited. I try to be Bulldog-ish and composed, but I often have too much excitement pinging around to stand still. I mean, I have my Bulldog moments (sometimes my rabid wolf moments), but I am a bouncer at heart.

But, when I had extra weight, I couldn’t bounce – physically, emotionally or spiritually. The weight clouded my vision of future possibilities. Every time I ate, I sank lower emotionally because I felt like I didn’t even deserve the right to eat. If I ate a salad, I would imagine what people thought as they watched the fat lady failing to be healthy.

I was so focused on how badly I felt about myself that I couldn’t see anything around me. Weight Watchers helped bring color to my black-and-white world. Everything was exciting again – I experienced joys that had been years removed from my life.

It was gradual and sporadic, though. With each small step I took, I realized I could take more. Over almost 2 years, as the snowball effect began to take place, my steps became more bouncy and I found myself again.

I understand life happens. I’ve experienced pain, loss and anger. I’ve cried great tears and my soul has groaned at times. I understand. I get it, but if we let those times out-weigh who we are, then pain, fear and depression become the theme of our lives. We have to dig our way out of those low times and live out who we truly are.

Who are you? If you're a calm and steady Bulldog, keep going! If you're an excitable and bouncy Chihuahua, then bounce, my friend, bounce!

A 4-Bandaid Owie

My son fell a couple weeks ago while skipping and trying to go up a curb. He scraped up his knee and has lots of bruises that are still healing. It was probably the worst owie he's had in his 5 years of living. He cried a lot and onlookers felt sorry for us. I sat down on the curb with him and positioned his face away from the blood running down his leg.

The daddy hero carried him to the restaurant's bathroom to clean up, then walked to a near-by gas station to buy bandaids. It took 4 of them to cover up the worst of it and contain the bleeding. My heart broke for him. It hurts to watch such pain overcome someone and even more so when he's mine.

While I wiped away tears from his face and blood from his leg, I tried to remember the last time I'd actually fallen. I've tripped tons, of course, but manage to catch myself. Then, I started thinking that I've gotten pretty good at this walking thing. I gotta say, I was feeling good about myself. I've learned something in life.

Today, though, I thought about this a bit more. Is it that I've gotten good at walking - or - because maybe I don't take chances anymore? Sure, I haven't needed those bandaids, but when was the last time I skipped to where I was going?

Michelangelo and David

Michelangelo was 26 years old when he was commissioned to take on creating the statue David, on August 16, 1501. He was the third person who worked on the block of marble that would become David.

Two others had been commissioned to do the work, but they never completed it. They both got as far as roughing out the feet and legs, but then the marble piece sat outside for 35 years before Michelangelo came into the picture. It was exposed to winds, rain, heat, snow, bugs, mold…. for so long, in fact that the marble actually began to shrink.

Wait – is that right? Let’s review the timeline.

• 1464 – Original contract to begin the work of David
• 1466 – Second contract with new artist to continue David – then quickly abandoned
• 1475 – Michelangelo was born
• 1501 – Michelangelo commissioned to continue David
• 1504 – David was completed

Michelangelo wasn’t even born when the block of marble was created, shipped and abandoned. It’s almost as if David was Michelangelo’s destiny, as if David were waiting for him to arrive. Other artists were consulted in 1500, including Leonardo da Vinci, but Michelangelo won the opportunity.

What if Michelangelo had followed in the footsteps of the other artists? What if he decided the project was too big or intimidating for his age? What if he was too worried about failure that he never even tried? What if, on day 489, he just got too tired of looking at that same block of marble day-in and day-out?

Did you know there are also critics of David? Yeah, I Googled it and the criticism began almost immediately. They range from he’s not proportionate to the sling is in the wrong hand.

It’s certainly easier to be the critic than to be the artist who submerged himself in the history and mind of a man facing Goliath, for over two years. Or, maybe that’s why he was able to do such an amazing job – Michelangelo was also a young man facing his giants.

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” - Michelangelo

So, I’m asking myself two questions today.

1. What destiny has been waiting for me since before I was born? Do I have the courage to face it day-in and day-out until I set it free?
2. If even the great Michelangelo has critics, can I also go boldly forward without fear of their opinions?

Let me know if you happen to see a 13' tall piece of marble laying around. I think I have some freeing to do.

My Birthday Reflections

My paternal grandparents saved a copy of their local newspaper from the day I was born (August 5, 1976). It’s pretty cool to look at and I love the ads. Can you imagine buying jeans for $8.98? I really like the Black and White TV. It’s described as, “Portable 19-inch Diagonal TV. Front-mounted speaker, U/V antennas. Plastic. $118” I’m sold!

Today, though, as I looked through it again, I actually looked at the news articles too. The number one story on the front page? Swine Flu.

Other front page stories?

Fuel Cost Hike. “…will begin paying $1 more per month as the result of a fuel adjustment increase granted…”

Clean Air Act. “The Senate Thursday rejected attempts to speed the day when auto exhausts are much cleaner.”

Health Insurance Plan. “…health officials are pressing Congress to approve an insurance plan that would open the way for the government’s program to vaccinate all Americans against swine flu.”

Part of the Dream. “There is an urgent need for legislation that would restructure traditional mortgages to make home ownership a part of the America dream again…”

I have to admit, as I was reading these stories, I kept reassuring myself that this was not today’s paper, but one from 33 years ago.

My first thought was that things don’t ever change. We’re still discussing these same issues, arguing over what’s best for the environment, how to best structure our health care, working on the American dream….Yuck! In 33 years has ANYTHING changed? Is there honor is fighting for anything, if in 33 more years, we’re still discussing the same issues?

My answer is Yes!!! We have had progress forward and I could spend a lot of blog space discussing the progress over just my lifetime.

The real thing that hasn’t changed? The news.

Glow in the Dark

When glow-in-the-dark toys stay in the dark, they don’t glow. They can only glow when they first absorb light.

I’ve had this thought brewing for about 15 years and I’ve pulled it out on several different life occasions. Today, it resurfaced and I just can’t shake it. It’s a simple thought, so forgive me if it doesn’t create an ah-ha moment for you.

We are like those toys. We absorb the things, thoughts and attitudes that we are near. If we keep ourselves in darkness with negative thoughts, or by camping out around condemnation, we can’t ever glow, even if glowing is our true purpose.

Only after we’ve surrounded ourselves with light can we be seen in the darkness.

Today, let’s purge the negative, bask in the positive and then dance in the dark.