Pieces of April

On Saturday, I was doing great - and then, we went out to dinner. I got a really cool looking sandwich that I know was very high in points. Then I at all the fries.

Sunday morning, I was going to make waffles for Father's Day (with my low-point version), but discovered I didn't have the mix. So, at the last minute, I made a McDonald's run. Yep, I switched my order at the drive-thru to a McGriddle. I snacked the rest of the day on 100 Calorie Snacks and had two servings of low-point spaghetti for dinner.

This morning, I was starving, but I wanted to get back on track. I ended up buying a breakfast sandwich at the deli at work because I was far too hungry to make my oatmeal. By lunch, I was starving again and opted for the Cheeseburger at that same deli. Then, spotted a new candy bar - Twix with PB! Right beside of it was the Milky Way Dark. I decided to get one, but because I couldn't decide, I got both.

I've just finished the huge burger and both candy bars and besides ready to take a nap, I feel sick and a bit dizzy.

I have to admit, it felt good to eat without restraint. I didn't count points, write anything down or worry about portions. I spend so much time doing that every day, I sort of rebelled. Why should I have to do that? The majority of the population doesn't. The average size of an American woman is 14. What's wrong with average?

So, the angel April is here to answer the questions posed by the devil April above.

Eating without restraint is to eat out of control. Oddly enough, structure in your diet and life is actually very freeing. Just like boundaries make a child feel loved. If you care enough, structure and boundaries are necessary. Right now, you feel badly for bad food choices, which will lead to more bad food choices. This path is a downward cycle and you've been at the bottom; you've cried, screamed and yelled at the bottom. You've also clawed your way to the top. So, where do you want to live? Taking it a step farther, where do you want your son to live? What example do you want him to see?

And, really, you're pulling out "average?" You're not average. There's nothing wrong with average, but it's just not you. Anyone can be average - and most people are. BUT, you know that you can't decide to make your bed in average. You know that your hopes and dreams for Caleb are not in AverageLand. And, your mom's hopes and dreams for you aren't there either.

For my last point, I'd like to present to the court Exhibit A: your personal mission statement.

"The mission of my life is to appreciate simplicity; to dwell in a healthful mindset; to inspire and seek inspiration; to allow only me to create my definition of self; to relish in moments; to create where there is a void and create space where there is clutter; to seek to better my faults, but also appreciate my gifts."

In order to answer "Is it worth it?" you have to decide if this mission statement was just a writing exercise or something you intend to live by. Then, make your decision and let me know what's for dinner.