Holding On and Letting Go

We all have our stories and for me, weight happens to be the thing I deal with while I go through the trials of life. It's been a few rough weeks for me in the weight loss area. It's not that I've gained or totally fell off the healthy food wagon, *pause for that mental picture* it's just that I haven't felt successful. I found myself sabotaging my own efforts, knowingly. I would graze all night or go for the candy bars at work.

So, I finally sat myself down, looked in the mirror and started trying to figure out what my issue was. As I got closer to my goal weight in October, I sped towards it quickly. I worked out, ate right and felt great every day. So why was this time different? I thought about this weight that I'm trying to lose. I gained it while I was sick and pregnant. After the baby was gone, all I had was the weight. If I lose the weight, I'm losing the only tangible thing that was left.

However irrational that line of thought, once I got it out there and labeled it, I could deal with it. I recognize that holding on to the weight is not a way to honor that little life. I had to move on - AND, move on I did. I lost 1.6 pounds this week! Ironically, letting go of the weight is helping me to hold on.

"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In Your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to You"

- lyrics from Broken by Lifehouse