I don’t feel short. It’s funny, because I know I am. I see other people that are my height and I’m taken aback by how short they are. At work, I generally wear 3 to 4 inch heels and I love them (especially the peep-toes! I don't actually own the red Mossimo heels in the picture, but YUM!, right?). Anyway, when I happen to take them off or wear shoes without a heel to work, I feel my shortness. Most of the time, though, I walk through life, not feeling my 5'3".
I also don’t feel 32 years old. I know I am, though, because my mom told me what year I was born and I used an excel spreadsheet to calculate my age. If I were to randomly guess, I would say I am more like 22. Sometimes, when I'm talking to my siblings on the phone, I am more like 16. Some places, like the state fair, I feel about 75 (I mean, seriously, do people have to act that crazy?!)
I also don’t always feel good about myself. It’s funny how, even with 54 pounds gone, I still have “fat” days. My clothes might feel a bit tight and I feel like all is lost. I went to the store just a few months ago and, without thinking, walked right up to the size 18s. But, slowly, my perception is beginning to change. My visions of old April are fading, even though sometimes I still feel like her.
So maybe relying only on my feelings isn't a good way to direct my life? It hasn't made me taller yet, but stay tuned...