It's Not About the Weight

It didn't take me too long into my weight loss journey before I realized that weight wasn't the problem. How many of us diet, fail, take pills, feel sick, diet, binge, draw the line in the sand, cross the line, start, stop, give up? We blame the program, the pills, the pre-determined foods, the birthday celebrations, the "American" portion sizes. But those aren't the reasons - and weight is not the problem.

Those of us who struggle with weight WEAR our symptoms and feel worse about our stuggles because everyone can see us struggling.

What's so hard about weight loss is that it's up to me to believe I can - to KNOW I can, and to take the steps to succeed. Following a food program and working out will help, but if you can't picture the finish line with most certainty, you will not start the race (or at least not well).

What's also hard is being honest about the 'why' of our symptom. When we're sick, the doctor's goal is to treat the underlying problem, not just the cough or back ache. Losing weight without discovering the 'why' will only lead to gaining again, no matter how great the program or diet. With each step, with each bite, we have to slow down and listen to the 'why' that is echoing in our head.

It's hard because, usually, it's painful. It's becoming your 14 year old self and hearing the physical therapist say, "My, you're a big girl." Even now, I have tears in my eyes when I think of that. But now that I've called out that memory for what it is, it no longer drives me to the donuts.

So, how do you do it? You fight. This is the fight of your life - for your life. Know that success is possible, feel it in your gut and decide with each moment that there is a bigger cause at stake. Grit your teeth - draw the line - set your course for success.

Do you know why it's worth it? Because the weight isn't the problem. There's something bigger happening. Losing weight gave me courage and confidence - not just because of the change in my body, but because I dealt with those feelings that I would normally just eat away.

Some days (and some months) I forget, but for the past 3 weeks, I have been back on top. Yes, I'm losing weight again - 4 pounds in 3 weeks - but I dealt with my issue head-on. My baby would have been 8 month old a few days ago. I cried, it hurt and it wasn't pretty. But now, I don't feel the need to eat the bag of Doritos.

The weight is never just about the weight.